Peacekeeping is Exhausting Our Leaders
Our future rests on shaky ground as long as the societal institutions we need to thrive are being guided by weary leaders. I wrote about this grim prospect in my last post and have had numerous replies affirming the trend. You can read that post here: Our Future Rests in the Hands of Weary Leaders.
What can we do as ordinary citizens to encourage our leaders in these dark times? Such aid is not to simply ease the burden on leaders, a worthy cause by itself. The focus of this aid to leaders is the very survival of our civic institutions (government, business, faith, nonprofit, etc) so that our bonds might be repaired, giving us all a chance at thriving.
One of the deep disappointments of the current moment is watching adults act like children, calling names, exacting vengeance, and justifying their bad behavior under the guise of “defending a cause.” As a pastor, it saddens me to watch the followers of Jesus act out in this fashion. This bad behavior is not exclusive to any one group of people unfortunately.
We most definitely need to hold our leaders accountable for participating in any form of this tit-for-tat bickering. Politics is particularly rife with this kind of childish behavior and the citizenry needs to demand that it stop immediately.
That said, I do not believe this behavior has been the norm for most of our leaders. Most of the leaders I have observed are dodging and ducking, avoiding conflict, doing all they can to escape enemy and friendly fire. This is the cycle leading to their exhaustion.
How can we break the nasty cycle that is exhausting our leaders?
Embolden our leaders to do the hard work of peacemaking, not peacekeeping.
PeaceKEEPERS are nice people. The alternative to our current divisive climate is not asking our leaders to simply be nice people who keep the peace. Is being nice better than being nasty? Obviously. Do I desire for my kids to grow up in a world that is kinder than the one I see today? Absolutely.
Being nice is not enough.
That said, I most definitely do not want my kids to grow up in a world that ignores problems and sweeps injustices under the rug either. Avoidance, ambivalence, and indifference are the more subtle partners of bickering, backbiting, and violence.
Our world has real problems to solve, injustices that need to be rectified, complex issues that need creative solutions. A healthy civic life will mean real dialogue, listening to those with whom we disagree, principled defense of the truth, civil disagreements on disputable matters, and ethical lobbying in the spirit of healthy democracy. A vibrant civic life will be intense and vigorous like a well fought sports match that ends with the sportsmanlike conduct of handshakes and compliments.
Peacekeeping is not the call of the hour. Peacekeepers avoid conflict at all cost, especially if angry backlash awaits. Many of our leaders are tempted to steer institutions toward a posture of peacekeeping. Instead of fighting, they avoid conflict and disputes. Peacekeepers have a tendency to change the subject when things get heated.
Peacekeeping is exhausting because it requires constant avoidance of problems, calculating the cost of missteps, and manipulating circumstances to keep warring groups from fighting. Peacekeepers try to keep the temperature down while anger and bitterness is boiling due to unresolved issues. At some point unresolved tensions will blow up. The peacekeeping leader knows this and it causes a great deal of stress and anxiety to prolong and avoid the explosion.
Who wants to do the job of just keeping people from fighting? Any parent knows how exasperating it can be to keep bickering siblings from fighting.
Peacekeeping is exhausting many of our leaders.
Our institutions do not need leaders who are nice peacekeepers. How often have you been a part of an organization where a leader refused to deal with a problem employee that made the office atmosphere miserable for everyone? A common tactic of the peacekeeping leader is to create “workarounds” that frustrate everyone. Avoid the problem employee at all cost, even if it means the gymnastics of ridiculous alternate procedures. The peacekeeping leader will not confront the problem employee. They prefer that everyone just try to be nice. Nice behavior leads to a deflating culture and usually leads employees to look for an exit.
Peacekeepers refuse to confront groups of people whose behavior is destructive to the collective cause. We are witnessing coalitions of people forming and pushing extreme ideas because peacekeeping leaders are afraid to confront them. The peacekeeping leader is terrified to watch people walk away though secretly they wish they would.
Peacemaking are leaders of a different breed. PeaceMAKERS look for conflict because they sense a calling to reconcile enemies so that the institution might function correctly. They live and breathe a regular atmosphere of disputes even though it is exhausting. Peacemakers are intolerant of dysfunction.
The peacemaker has creative vision to see pathways, compromises, and pragmatic solutions. They do not avoid hard decisions that have to be made when everyone cannot find agreement. Peacemakers attempt to get enemies to walk together and pray that they might one day even become friends. Peacemakers are not afraid of confrontation because they see the prospect of improved behaviors. They confront in order to repair and deepen fragile bonds.
Peacemaking is not some unrealistic series of kumbaya moments of handholding, sipping hot cocoa together, and dreaming of world peace.
Peacemaking is what had to happen after apartheid in South Africa.
Peacemaking was needed after the scourge of World Wars when bombs ceased, rifles cooled, and the dead were buried.
Peacemaking is what our country is still figuring out how to do after the Civil War.
Peacemaking is what is needed after a bitterly divisive election that now threatens to isolate and alienate us from each other.
Our institutions need leaders who are brave, courageous peacemakers. We must do all we can to embolden leaders to be peacemakers and not peacekeepers.
We must clearly distinguish between peacekeeping and peacemaking if we hope to rebuild our institutions. Finding some bland and unsatisfying middle ground to our challenges is not going to work. Certain injustices have to be rectified. Wrongs cry out to be righted.
There will be times when one group has the right solution and another has the wrong one. Someone will ‘win’ and the other group will ‘lose.’ The peacemaking leader will not allow winners to gloat or losers to wallow in self pity. The peacemaking leader will keep their follower’s eyes on the goal of collective progress and improvement.
Our nation faces real problems that cannot be swept under the rug in the name of being nice. We desperately need bold leaders who are peacemakers that will courageously run into our most difficult challenges in order to help us find a way forward.
